Thank you Alibaba for a reason to buy another “me” present…

In case you didn’t know, today is NATIONAL SINGLES DAY……in China. Alibaba is a genius.  Just like Hallmark was able to make things like mothers day, fathers day a “thing” Alibaba has made “Singles Day” in China, in which retailers slash prices of goods on their site (for those of you unfamiliar its like the Amazon of China) and encourage singles to buy themselves a gift.

LIKE I NEEDED AN EXCUSE. Last year in ONE DAY only on Alibaba’s site consumers in china bought over $5.7B in goods. More than cyber Monday, black Friday combined…and then some.

“Several years ago Alibaba took  Singles Day, a day of celebration that had grown popular with students and backed it aggressively in 2009 as a day when Internet shoppers in China should celebrate with gift giving. This is similar to the phenomenon of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day in the West, but with one major difference. In Singles Day, the person you buy the gift for is yourself! ”

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Click for link to Business Week Article

 

This is the greatest thing ever. I can’t wait for this to come to America. In the meantime, Swift told me I buy myself enough “me” presents and I didn’t need to participate. I’m going to agree to disagree here…

You are talking to the soon to be world record holder for the most expensive Starbucks drink order…

Today’s #TRT is completely and utterly unnecessary for you to know, but I guess that would be the point….

If any of you read this blog on a semi normal basis, you know that I like Starbucks…a LOT. So much so that I am instagram friends with a few of my fave baristas (who now comment on my photos), rarely have to give an order in the morning (unless the A team is not working), and everyone writes Beyonce on my cup.

58-dollar-starbucks-drink

CLICK FOR ELITEDAILY.COM ARTICLE

I’ve decided I want to go for the world record for the most expensive Starbucks order. Penelope and I are not impressed with $60, and want to go for a hundo. This could be my big break kids!!!!

Today’s #TRT

Haven’t done one of these in a while. Just found this on Elite Daily…..50 Things Btches Can’t.Even.With. I think I need to write one of these….but alas I am lazy and let the others do it for me. Please see my top 10 + some personal commentary

1. Skinny jeans on the airplane. We do it in the name of fashion, but that doesn’t mean we’re happy about it.below + additional commentary…

The best part about this is I would never even do that. I was discussing with the ZKW today that I don’t care if everyone at the conference I am going to next week i on my flight5. Cellulite. It’s the great equalizer of women and yet also the worst thing ever to happen to us. to Vegas next week, you will not see me on a plane in anything other than lulu.period.

2. Cellulite. It’s the great equalizer of women and yet also the worst thing ever to happen to us.

Doesn’t matter how many bar methods, soul cycles, or squats you do, that sht just DOESN’t go away. It’s on the back of my legs and it drives me BANANAS.

3. Buying an item and seeing it on sale the next day. This one stings.

It’s like you personally failed at life for the day. As someone who now refuses to buy anything at J Crew or Ann Taylor full price out of the principal that it will be 70% off a week later when you combine the 30% off everything in the store and the additional 40% off anything on sale, this one ESPECIALLY drives me cray.

4. Flats that rub the back of your heel. You don’t break these shoes in. They break you in.

I just went through this with a new pair of J Crew flats (29.99 originally 100 SUCK IT). It was the WORST. People were starting to look at me funny in the kitchen because I was stealing boxes of band aids out of the first aid cabinet like it was my job. Usually this process takes like 2/3 wears, a quick blister or two and you’re good to go. This shoe was particularly nasty and was more like 6/7, and gashes to the back of my heel. God the things we do for fashion. 

5. Being really, really cold.

I’m sorry, was anyone in New York for the last 6 months?

6. Leaving the house unintentionally dressed like a librarian (see: #1 bobby pins). That cardigan isn’t helping.

Story of my life. At my last job (where i REALLY didn’t care what I wore to work ) I commuted every day in my bright green nike sneaks….and everrryyy day SWIFT would tell me I look like a not so politically correct term in my sneakers and suit pants walking out the door. In hindsight, this was deserved. 

7. Showering, especially when washing your hair is involved. It’s just such a process.

Anyone who knows me knows how i feel about this. One of the first questions my dad asks me when he sees me these days is when was the last time you showered? Men just really don’t understand. Case and point today at work where my hair was wavy and I had more than WOAH FANCY HAIR TODAY comment thrown in my direction. I want to put up a sign that says Curly Hair = Dirty Hair. This actually takes way less time than showering and drying my hair and is done out of laziness. 

8. Losing an earring. What are you supposed to do now? On a personal note, I’ve been petitioning for manufacturers to produce earrings in sets of three for this reason. Soooooo entrepreneurial of me, I know.

AMEN. There are few things worse than losing ONE of your favorite pair of earrings that are not longer made, or discontinued, OR really expensive. I support any and all efforts to sell earrings in threes.

9. Business professional. There are only two women who look chic in a pant suit: Diane Keating and Kate Moss without a blouse underneath.

Don’t you love it when the J Crew catalog does the Kate Moss no blouse look underneath though? Makes you think for a split second, oh I could make this look GOOD at the office. Spending the morning in HR will be fun too, but thanks for the inspo J Crew model!

10. When no one responds to the group chat. At least throw us a sympathy “haha.” What are friends for, anyway?

It’s like the lowest of the low. I’m in this group text with a few lovely ladies (that is the best) and I always feel like SUCH a loser when I’m the last one to say anything. Like, was it really that bad?

HAPPY TUESDAY TO ALL YOU BTCHES WHO CANT.EVEN. KEEP EM COMING

http://elitedai.ly/1sinLAs 

Today’s #TRT

I’ve taken a hiatus from TRTs so I apologize. Combination of being busy and not wanting to half a$$ it/the entire blog is random, so I have to find something exponentially more random than the rest. Today I give you Buzzfeed’s 71 Thoughts We’ve All Had While Riding the Subway.

During the off chance I’m not feeling like a sardine on the tube, I like to observe others around me. If anyone else takes the E train every day, there is a man who screams about hating and wanting to kill LESBIANSSSS (he emphasizes this not me) every day. I do not agree with his views on sexuality, but I can count on the fact that I am going to hear him screaming about this 2/3 times per week….only in New York. Here are a few of my favorites from this Buzzfeed….. http://bzfd.it/OuGQAW

3. This woman and her bag will suffocate me and that’ll be it.

4. Someone definitely peed on this handrail before

6. LOL, because yeah, standing in a crowd of people and reading is soooo relaxing!

10. Just going to look at the ground and look like a heartless asshole, no big deal.

12. I should’ve just walked 80 blocks.

13. “We are delayed because of the train’s dispatcher” will be written on my tombstone.

18. WHATEVER, YOLO, I’M SITTING DOWN.

28. Do these Dr. Zizmor plastic surgery ads even work? They must, because he has them in every subway and that requires mad $$$.

38. Like, too bad your arm was sticking — HAVE FUN NOT HAVING ONE NOW.

1. So. Many. People.

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Time for this week’s #TRT

We’re re-visiting some of Oprah’s winning looks during her early career. Buzzfeed provided me with 21 WOWers and I am including my top 5. I love all things Oprah, this is not meant to be a knock. I DVR’ed every single episode of the final season and cried during more than I would like to admit. But I think we can all agree that the HARPO mogul has gone through quite a tumultuous fashion career. She has made SERIOUS improvements, and has more Loubitons than I have dollars in my bank account so I think she is going to get the last laugh here, but lets take a walk down memory lane..

Channeling her best friend TINA TURNER in this 1986 frock? I’m not sure how you would categorize what she has on.

Oprah 1986

WHATCHU TALKING BOUT WILLIS?!?! The sequins…
Oprah 1987

White is not a slimming color. I need not say anything else about this selection.Oprah 1987 2

In what universe would mixing these two patterns ever be considered acceptable. And I know this is mean but there is a serious back fat situation here. Where were her friends?!?!

Oprah 1989

Unless you are a teeny tiny person I do not recommend leggings and any sort of short (er) top. At least the obnoxiously yellow sweater draws the eyes UPWARD.
Oprah yellow

There are no words here.
Oprah Fur

http://www.buzzfeed.com/whitneyjefferson/oprahs-fantastic-outfits-from-her-early-career